I’ve been seeing a lot more people with ink lately. Tattoos are not just for bikers and gang members anymore. Now instead of taking time off from your busy schedule to spend time in your local penitentiary it’s socially acceptable to go out anytime and get one of these fine expressions of who you are. I’ve even considered getting one myself for many years. But before you go off and get a tattoo of your exact skeletal structure, you should read this helpful guide of considerations for getting a tattoo:

1. Tattoos are permanent. Is the design timeless?
A tattoo should stand the test of time. If you have a Backstreet Boys or Gary Coleman tattoo, then I am sincerely sorry. While Chuck Norris and Star Wars may last forever, you might want to choose something will still make sense 20+ years from now. For Example, Joe Dirt is timeless…

2. Tattoos are permanent. Are you drunk?
This could go either way… While it might be beneficial to be slightly drunk while getting the work done, you probably want to evaluate your choice of art work wile sober. I mean seriously, how else would a tattoo like this happen?

3. Tattoos are permanent. Getting a tattoo as part of a bet can be a bad idea.
If you have to get a tattoo as a result of losing a bet I shudder to thing what it is/says…If you win a bet and have to get a tat then I’m really confused. A good example of this consideration is this medical fiasco involving a tattoo, a camera phone and a penis.

4. Tattoos are permanent. Tramp stamps are for girls.
Combing both consideration #2 and How I Met Your Mother, consider how silly a dude would look with a butterfly tattoo…oh a straight dude.

5. Tattoos are permanent. You won’t always look this good.

Some tattoos on girls are extremely sexy. For instance the really cool lower back tattoo (yes, the “tramp stamp”). However, your body will sag and bulge in places over time. How will your ink look once you turn 50? Sure it looks good now and probably helps the dating life…but it probably won’t look cool forever. Also, you may want to consider placement. How do you think this will look after a few kids?

6. Tattoos are permanent. Consider your design.
While tribal designs might look very cool, family portraits probably won’t.

7. Tattoos are permanent. Celebrities…really?
This is how you want to choose to express yourself? How low must your self-esteem be to get a tattoo of a celebrity? Now if I was a celebrity I might get a tattoo of me on me…just to be vein… or funny, whatever. But explain a celebrity tattoo like this:

Also, if you are thinking about getting a tattoo like anything Mike Tyson has…well..just don’t.

8. Tattoos are permanent. Can your artist spell?
I wouldn’t think this needed much explanation however if you do a simple Google search for “misspelled tattoos” you get over 122,000 searches, leading to me it’s not uncommon.

9. 入れ墨は、恒久的な. If you can’t read that then why bother… Want a Japanese/Chinese tattoo? Unless you speak the language your artist could make it say “I like cheese” instead of “I am awesome.” I realize these are all the rage now and you fell all deep and cultural but it just seems a bit risky. Then again maybe you enjoy telling people your ink means “strength” and “courage” while it actually means “dog” and “time passes”, which I’m sure is just as profound.

I sincerely hope you have taken the time to consider these…um…well… considerations. I would also like to point out that I do realize you can get tattoo removal…but that wasn’t as funny.