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Symphony of Illumination – Season 7 Episode 12

Jenniac here once again filling in for our usual Master of Ceremonies because he’s moving to this hip new neighborhood called Dowisetrepla or something like that. Anyway enough about me, lets get to the show because there is A LOT to talk about.

The writers wasted NO time. I wasn’t ready for Robin to open the show as the narrator talking to her kids -the boy in a suit who looks like Barney and a girl is a spitting image of Robin. It was hard to pay attention to the smaller details on tonight’s episode because I was too busy trying to mentally process what had just happened in the open and then throughout the episode. For me this was the best episode since “The Naked Truth.”

I’ll get back to Robin and the kids, but let’s briefly talk about the other plotlines in this episode.

Marshall out on Long Island (or Lawnguyland as us who were born and raised there call it) decorating the house for Christmas. Also fun fact, East Meadow is a real town. I actually ran a half marathon there. What up! Marshall and his kid neighbor that took advantage of his naïve Midwestern ways and softness due to impending fatherhood. I would have loved to see Marshall final product including the Symphony of Illumination he was trying to do on the roof.

Lily was registering for items at We B Babies for her shower with the rest of the gang in tow. Nipple butter and vagina numbing cream – makes me want rethink motherhood one day.  YUCK! At We B Babies we meet Insane Dwayne who was Barney’s former bro turned bedraggled father who married his one night stand that he picked up by only saying the word boner. Classic.

So Robin. Robin opens the episode telling her kids about the moment she told their father (Barney) she was pregnant. Typical Barney hijinx ensues along with some legendary lines (see below) and physical comedy. We also find out Robin and Kevin haven’t had sex yet. We very quickly find out that Robin isn’t pregnant which has me confused, but intrigued. Robin then basks in the glow of an empty uterus with alcohol, junk food and watching Teenage Mommies.

Robin gets called back to the doctor where she finds out she can’t have a baby and in true Robin fashion keeps everything to herself, however she imagines the gang’s reactions to the news. However Barney, Lily and Ted know something up. Ted as the roommate tries to cheer Robin up, but they fight which made me uncomfortable just watching.

Robin then goes on to talk as the narrator about how much better her life is since she couldn’t have kids which confuses me. Then she says, “if you want to know the truth of it, I’m glad you guys aren’t real.” AND THEY FADE AWAY. MIND BLOWN.

But wait, there’s more!

After a walk in the snow Robin goes back to the apartment where a Christmas display was set up. For a minute I thought it was Barney who set it up, but Ted appears. Ted’s over the top-ness was the blue orchestra and apartment full of roses all over again for me. It made me wish that Ted and Robin would have worked out, but it’s too late for them in my book. However Ted succeed at cheering Robin up.

We end the episode with Ted back as the narrator telling us about how Robin went on to be a famous journalist, successful businesswoman, a world traveler and even a bullfighter which a story for later (oh narrator Ted – you sir are a tease).

MOMENTS OF AWESOMENESS – This whole episode was a mix of awesomeness and WTFness.

  • Robin’s faint over Barney’s fatherhood excitement.
  • Barney’s pratfall.
  • Scott eating a sandwich while Marshall watches from the roof in horror.
  • Scott taking a picture of his ding dog with Marshall’s phone as blackmail.
  • Marshall’s reference to him and his brothers wresting exhibitions which set the basement on fire due to their theatrics.
  • Barney testing out the vagina numbing spray on his tongue.

The Re-Returns

  • Big Fudge – that nickname never gets old for.
  • The flashback to the day Ted and Barney met. Barney’s suit/tie combo was so tragic, as was Ted’s facial hair.

LEGENDARY LINES – As brilliant as the writing is, the cast just brings these lines so much to life!

  • Barney: Are you sure you’re not just getting fat?
  • Barney: So you’re pregnant, looks like nobody told your boobs.
  • Barney: One iced tea in a rocks glass for MOMMY!
  • Marshall: They rock so hard steam comes out of your brain as it melts.
  • Barney:  But as the baby’s gnawing on your bleeding nips, look what she’ll be wearing.
  • Robin: Vagina numbing spray, apparently after childbirth your who-ha looks like Rocky Balboa’s face.
  • Robin: Sucks to be you braces
  • Lily:  What about the one where you ski and shoot at the same time, that seems like something you’d be good at.
  • Ted : Oh Can-a-dortbale.
  • Ted : I know it’s not Canada, but it starts with a c and it’s cold as balls.

LINGERING QUESTIONS

First Robin was wearing gross silk blouses, but now they had Lily in one. Luckily they each had a great jacket (Robin’s cream blazer and Lily’s mauve coat). What’s up costume department? What are you trying to tell us through these fashion choices?

Back to Robin imaging the reactions the gang would have had if she told them she couldn’t have kids. I’m pretty sure Barney would have been bummed for her and the possibility of him never becoming a father if Robin is indeed his future wife. Do you still think Robin is Barney’s bride?

When are we going to get another Ted-centric story line or episode?

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Jenniac OUT!