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Gary Blauman – Season 9, Episode 20

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Sorry for the delayed post kids. I spent St. Patrick’s Day in NYC..and woke up in a dumpster all thanks to a guy in a green suit. Kidding…maybe.

Wednesday 8pm – 3 days after the wedding

On their first date Ted tells Mother the story of Gary Blauman. While telling the story mother sees her very recent ex-boyfriend with whom she just broke up with and she decided she isn’t ready to date. Ted continues the story as he walks Mother back to his apartment and delivers such a sweet lilted “this is where I leave you.” But thankfully the Mother comes to her senses since Ted was not longer the guy to make a speech and scare her off.

Back to the day of the wedding. Gary Blauman shows up and throw Robin in a seating chart code red frenzy. Each of the gang members chimes in on if they love or hate Blauman. Ted hates him for cockblocking him (or so he thinks), Lily loves him for intervening while she was in a tattoo parlor and prepared to get a bunch of butterflies and Mark McGrath from Sugar Ray’s face tattooed on her while reeling from her breakup with Marshall. We learn that Barney hates Blauman because he hate his accidental curly fry and THAT cannot be forgiven. Billy Zabka loves Blauman because Blauman loves his poetry. James Stinson hates Blauman because he had an affair with Blauman that ended his marriage. In the end Marshall rules Blauman can stay because the bride wants him there, but not before we are privy to the MOTHER of all “where are they nows” in the form of who Ted still keeps track of.

Perfect blend of stories in this episode. The two plot lines worked so well together and I know I’ve given Ted crap for a while, but all of his scenes with Mother make me fall back in love with him.

Legendary lines

  • Barney: No more books Ted, I don’t like the person you become when you read books.
  • Ted: There’s a bottom below Sugar Ray?
  • Lily: Marshall, Blauman saved you from a lifetime of looking at Sugar Ray every time we do it on your birthday.
  • Ted: Bad like there was a big fight? / Mother: Bad like there was a big ring.
  • Barney: But he was not “good, thanks.” He was not “good, thanks” at all.
  • Ted: Wait Blauman’s gay? Then that means that night the real battle was between Blauman and the girl. And the prize was this guy!
  • Billy: That’s not even my move. If I was going to do anything, I’d sweep the leg and put you in a body bag, everybody knows that.
  • Narrator Ted: and that’s how it goes kids, the friends, neighbors, drinking buddies, and partners in crime you loved so much when you’re young, as the years go by you just lose touch.
  • Narrator Ted: You will be shocked kids, when you discover how easy it is in life to part ways with people forever. That’s why when you find someone you want to keep around you do something about it.
  • Mother: What are you doing? / Ted: Remembering this.

Moments of Awesomeness

  • Taran Killam, but especially the face he makes while saying “I’ll be the guy in the 8th row going like this”
  • Table 27 reunion picture at Tuckahoe Funland
  • The telepathic argument between Ted and Blauman (they have turned telepathic conversations into an artform on HIMYM)
  • The no look high five between Lily and Marshal in regards to knowing nothing about break ups
  • The chemistry between Ted and Mother is magic
  • NPH’s over the top rage recounting why he hate Blauman
  • The single pan shot of what everyone that Ted has kept tabs on is up to
  • Surprise cameos from 9 seasons of friends of the gang
  • Mother going in for the kiss

Callbacks

  • Ted’s breakup butterfly tattoo
  • Blah Blah and her name is Carol!

Lingering Question

  1. Is it safe to assume Robin and Barney DO get married? If they didn’t I’m pretty sure that would have come up on Ted and Mother’s date.
  2. I’m really curious how quickly Ted decides not to go to Chicago and where he ends up living since he already moved out of his apartment. Thoughts?
  3. Was I the only one who thought for a second that Ted was going to say Mother’s name tonight?
  4. Who were we missing from the “where are they now” – I was hoping for Victoria and obviously the pineapple.
  5. Would you consider a Scottish-Mexican restaurant to be the weirdest place on earth?
  6. Am I the only one who HATED the little booties Mother wore on her first date with Ted?
  7. Taran Killam you had some great new hair plugs, glad your SNL bucks are paying for them. Amiright?